The Ugly Duckling Series: Ayie

9:00 AM

They say you are your own worst critic. We like to look into the mirror and focus on all the qualities we don’t like about ourselves. It’s easy to see our flaws, and difficult to see our most beautiful features. We all have our own insecurities, but what if we could turn those insecurities into positives? 

When I was growing up maybe until I was 11, I was never insecure of myself, if I was ever envious, it would be that someone had a new toy that they got from a happy meal...then highschool came along and all of a sudden everything is wrong with me which included my physical and emotional being. I became depress for silly and selfish reasons and of course, like everyone else, my hormones were definitely toying with my feelings.

My teeth: Errrr, I hate my teeth and still hates my teeth till now. I once was called "horse" because it wasn't straight and it was dominantly pushing forward. Therefore, smiling for me did not include with my teeth showing. NEVER! It was a big no no. Being bullied by everyone else did nothing but crush my self-esteem and it was only my first year in high school that should have been an exciting experience yet it was turned into one of the worst days of my life. However, at the time, I was dating one of the finest guys and he was a junior. So guess what like any other teen movies, every girl hated me and would find flaws and gave me dirty looks. Who would think that this "horse" looking girl would date someone that seemed to be out of her league?

My eyes I might hate my teeth but I've always been proud of my eyes because I got them from my father. Not to mention, my eyelashes do not need mascara they are long enough for anyone to notice it. Thus, instead of focusing on my smile or my teeth, I make sure that I emphasize my eyelashes by curling it and it made my face all made up minus the make up. My hair: I hated my hair. Period. I could not emphasize this more. For one it was thick and wavy; it did not cooperate with me while I was growing up. I would always just put it up in a bun and call it a day. Before, those straightening irons were not a thing or they might have been to expensive. My hair would always squash any confidence that I have left. However, there were other ways to keep it nice and presentable. My mother would take me and get it relaxed or straighten chemically and it was pricey.

 My creativity As much as I hate my hair, I know I need to work with it. I became more creative by learning different kinds of hairstyles from hair mousse to hair spray, from to scrunchies to different sizes of bobby pins. I've always been asked to be in-charged of hair just because I know and I'm passionate about hair styling. I seriously have love-hate relationship with my hair. More hair: I had peach fuzz and I was just hairy everywhere! When I was still in the Philippines, it seemed like it didn't matter and I didn't even bother to shave my legs until I was 20 and maybe until someone mentioned that I have "peach fuzz". I was so embarrassed. I'm a girl! How can a girl just have too much hair?

Being Resourceful Indeed, to keep my sanity, I had to shave or wax all the hair in body possible. However, not everything works for my body since my skin is too sensitive. Therefore, I had to test and research products that would work perfectly for my skin and the best part of it all is I get to share what product works it with everybody. Hence, one of the reasons I became a contributor in this blog. wink wink! My body physique: it is probably one of the sources of my frustration...I wish I had more to fill up my entire bra. I don't even know if that would be appropriate enough. I just thought that I would look more attractive and would always envy other girls because they looked so good in a corset or in a plain white tee. As much as I love the summer, it gives me this bitter sweet feeling at the same time because I never looked in good in swim suits or at least that's what I think. I know I could definitely use "more" to boost my confidence and it had been my mindset since I started wearing a two-piece bathing suit.

My curves Uh huh! I might need more to fill up my entire bra but I could definitely say that I have more than enough to fill up my entire jeans. So instead of mulling over my insecurities, I would flaunt and present my bonbons, why not right? It made me feel confident wearing clothes and it made me feel not only sexy from the outside but from within as well. It's because it not what's wrong with you, it's how you handle these things or in other words, your attitude towards it. I guess to wrap it up, I would definitely say go to a plastic surgeon and just be done with it! KIDDING!!! No, I do not advice that at all. Insecurities that we have are normal just because the word "beauty" is portrayed in a pressuring way. You have to be skinny, your teeth must be perfect, tall and etc. We are born in this judgmental world. However, as cliche as it sounds, beauty is in the eye of the beholder" you are what you are depends on how you present yourself. At the end of the day, if you want to be beautiful or feel pretty, make sure that its for your own satisfaction and not because you want to please everyone or be someone that you're totally not.

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