A Look Back (The Most Cliché Blog Post)

2:42 PM


I know that to a lot of people a new year means nothing different than the year prior, but I am one of those people who still believes that every day is a new beginning and every year is a new chapter in your life. I love the beginning of the year because it’s a good time to reflect on the past year. I am the type of person that loves to reminisce, so looking back at the memories, hardships and accomplishments is something I enjoy. I am most excited to look back at 2018 because I feel like for the first time in a long time, I had a good run last year. Don’t get me wrong, 2018 definitely tested me as well, but for a pessimist like me, I am actually surprised that I am able to look past the troubles of the past year. This post is just that, a reflection of the past year and to set new goals, because if there’s one thing I got from 2018 it is to dream bigger and to reach more goals.

Struggles of 2018

I will not get into much details about the struggles I’ve had in 2018. It was a lot of personal battles that only I can work on. I also had struggles wherein I’ve had to learn that some things are not meant to happen no matter how many times you try, no matter how hard you try, if both parties are not willing to put in the same amount of effort, it will not happen. 2018 was the year where I realized that it’s ok. It’s ok to let this problem go. I’ve be holding on to this issue for a couple of years now to try to fix it, but last year was the year I understood that not all problems need to be solved; some, you really just need to let go. You can’t dwell on a problem you can’t change. If you have done your part, and nothing happens, you just need to learn to accept that it’s not meant for you to fix, or maybe it’s just not time to be fixed.

Accepting this took a lot of weight off my shoulder. For the past couple of years, I have been trying to fix something I had no control over. It became a routine to try to explain myself and try to reach out constantly, but if you have to bend over backwards to make a relationship work and the other party is not even lifting a finger, is that relationship even worth it? I’m not trying to say that the other party is all to blame. Every story has 3 sides, your side, their side and the truth. We are all human beings, we have things we believe in and at some point, you just get tired of trying. It’s funny because on each side, we always think that we’re not to blame or that we have done nothing wrong, but it takes maturity to step out of that and try to understand the other side too.

It’s all good though. It’s not done, but it’s has been let go. Nothing’s going to change, but I’m finally ok with it and with this situation, that’s all I can ask for. No shade, no tea to anyone. This is my truth and all I'm saying is I'm finally happy to let this one go.

Accomplishments of 2018

There are 3 major accomplishments the past year that made me feel so amazing that it gave me the energy and the will to over look the lowest points of 2018. To some people these accomplishments mean nothing, or little compared to their goals and aspirations in life, that’s ok. We all live different lives and we set different goals for ourselves. The most important thing is we work hard to reach those goals.

1.       Paying off my car.

Nothing feels better than knowing that you are working hard to pay off debt. Money was never my forte growing up. I did not know how to save and I really didn’t budget my money. When I was younger, I often got in trouble because I really lived it up and spent my money. I would like to think that I needed to learn that way. It was an expensive lesson, but I really learned from it none the less. I finally understood that I needed to be responsible with my money. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still learning and figuring things out as I go, but I have learned the importance of saving and getting out of debt. Paying of my car is a milestone for me. Yes, I have paid off another car prior to this one, but this one is special because this is my “big girl” car. I paid the car off before the intended payment date and that was such an accomplishment for me. It was the last accomplishment of my 27-year-old self and it was the proudest moment of my life. I did that. I chose a car I wanted, I haggled with the car salesman (although, who ever really wins with them, am I right?) and I paid it all off within about 3 years. This was my baby.

2.       Reaching at 10-year-old goal

When I was in high school in the Philippines, I was introduced to my first Korean drama, I believe it was Endless Love: Autumn in My Heart starring Song Hye Kyo. I fell in love with the story, the people and I wanted more. TV networks saw the popularity it gained and did not hesitate to give the people what they want. At 13, I was addicted to Korean dramas. When I was 17, we moved to the US. I had no life, literally, so I had a lot of time to immerse myself in K-dramas. When I turned 18, I was introduced to K-pop which broaden my love for Korea. I knew I was going to go there. Fast forward to 2018, I was able to reach that goal, minus the performing on stage part. You see when I fell in love with K-pop I knew I was bound to be the next biggest K-pop star, especially when Sandara Park (former member of 2NE1) hit the scene. You see, Sandara was an actress in the Philippines before she debuted as a part of 2NE1 (the best female girl group Korea has ever seen), so for some reason, I thought we had a connection and that this was my destiny. I had the most amazing experience with that trip. I’ll definitely do a dedicated post about it.

Long story short 2008 me came back to life and lived her childhood fantasy. I was in Seoul, South Korea. I made it and it was a trip I will never ever forget.

3.       Moving Out

Now, for some of you, moving out at my age is too old, some would think that I should have done this earlier. You are not wrong, it is common to leave your parent’s place at an earlier age, but I am Filipino. We like to stay close as long as we can. Although, being Filipino was not the only reason for me to stay home longer. It was fear with a hint of ego.

For me, moving out means something.  I see moving out as a sign to tell your parents that you are ready to face the world on your own. I took this very seriously. I knew that when I move out, that there will be no turning back, not because my parents won’t take me back, but my ego will not let me. My boyfriend and I have been wanting to do this for a while now, but it took us a while, because I wanted to make sure we saved enough to get by especially with moving essentials and surviving the first few months. We made the leap on October 2018, a few weeks after we got back from our Asia trip. It was the best decision we have ever made. It’s not the easiest, but it was the best.

Goals for 2019

There’s a lot of hate when people start goals at the beginning of the year as there are a lot of goals that fall out even before the first quarter ends. That doesn’t matter to me. I think the desire for change to happen is the first step. You just need to keep yourself (or a friend) on track.

When I was in college, one of the things I learned was for you to make good goals, it has to be “SMART.” This was the acronym that we associated in goal setting.

Specific & Measurable

Instead of “I will lose weight” specify how many pounds you will like to lose. This way, you know exactly what it is you are aiming for.

Make a goal that you can measure so you can see how far you’re coming along. Putting a number on your goal makes it easier to track your progress.

Achievable & Realistic

This just means you’re not going to set goals like lose 40lbs in 1 week. You need to know yourself and you need to understand your strengths and weaknesses. 

This is not to say you should make goals that don’t challenge you. You just want to make sure that your goals are things you know you can reach so it doesn’t demotivate if you can’t quite reach them. 

Timely

Antoine de Saint- Exupéry said, “a goal without a plan is just a wish.” Putting a deadline and task to do to reach your goals makes it a plan. Plan out when you should achieve these goals. If you need more time, that’s ok, just make sure that you keep working on it. The same idea goes if you fall off your plans. It’s ok, get back up and continue. You don’t need to wait for a new year to start.

For now, your assignment is to make a list of things you want to accomplish this year. It can short, it can be long, it can be big goals you want to set out for the whole year, it can be goals you want to accomplish by the end of the month. 

Need a friend to keep you on track? I can be that friend. Every end of the month, I want us to keep each other accountable on the goals we have for 2019. I will be sending out monthly emails to check in on how you’re doing reaching those goals. It will also be a good time to reflect if we should add, remove or edit anything on our list. Don’t forget to sign up to receive these monthly goals checkup emails. It’s free!

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